DAWWAS—Cowboys medical personnel confirm that quawterback Tony Womo injured his thwowing hand in last week’s 30-24 loss to the Arizona Cardinals and is expected to miss the next month after suffewing a sevewy bwoken wight pinkie-winkie.
Enlarge Image Tony Romo

Team doctors originally believed Womo’s poor, poor bwoken fingey was merewy spwained, despite the quarterback insisting that his pinkie felt really, really, really ouchie after being hit by wots and wots of big mean mans during the first play of overtime.

The Cowboys are denying rumors that Womo will require weconstwuctive pinkie surgewy, insisting that it is only a bad owie and that Womo will not be placed on injuwed weserve.

“Tony has been very, very bwave through all this and barely cried at all when he heard his widdle fingey was in fact bwoken,” coach Wade Phillips said Monday, explaining that Womo was “westing comfiwy” and watching cartoons at home and had thus far managed to keep his pinkie out of his mouth. “I’d say he’s week to week, but it’s up to the team medics to say when he’s completely all-better-now.”

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Almost better than the real Olympics

Tim Brown, marketing manager for Active Web Group in Hauppauge, is not only a fantasy football fan, but he also runs a league to which several of his colleagues belong. He said very little office time is spent on the activity because football games are played just once a week. He admits that he’s seen colleagues from former jobs become obsessive in the workplace. But he said he does most of his league work at home, checking scores occasionally during the workday for what amounts to less time than a coffee break.

“I care about my job,” he said.

Truly the best celebrity playing 1864 style baseball ever!

The American Family Association’s OneNewsNow website has a filter that changes every instance of “gay” to “homosexual” and calls Tyson Gay, who broke the American record for the 100 meter, “Tyson Homosexual.” They fixed this since. Probably since everyone went there to check it out. Others have noticed that they still haven’t fixed this for Rudy Gay the basketball player.

Wouldn’t the abbreviation for OneNewNow ONN? Obviously ONN is also the abbreviation for the Onion News Network? Did you know that we are depleting the world’s resource of Miley Cyrus?

This is real and they are taking it very seriously. We need this here in the US, although they’d dumb it down to wrestling and hungru-hungry hippos. Actually, that doesn’t sound half bad.