From the Onion:
Apple is set to release the much-hyped iPhone Friday, June 29. Here are some of its most highly anticipated features:
- Nanotechnology enables it to reassemble itself when thrown against wall
- Exclusive link to Google Street View so you can watch yourself using your iPhone at all times
- Takes Polaroids
- When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects
- Prominent Apple logo
- Reproduces through asexual budding
- Has way, way more PRAM than the last thingy
- Comes with an iPhone hat, so people know you own an iPhone during the brief periods you’re not using it
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